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恋爱心理:别让爱在心里口难开
2017-06-30 10:40:04    作者:来源:英国独立报

  Here are milestones in every relationship: becoming “exclusive”, moving in together and getting married are all momentous steps to take.

  每一段关系中都会有几个里程碑事件:比如成为“唯一”,同居,乃至结婚,这些都是感情关系中的重要阶段。

  But another big one is the first saying of “I love you.”

  但另一个重大事件便是第一次说“我爱你”。

  Whilst we love our mums, dogs and halloumi, being in love with someone is something else, and saying it to your boyfriend or girlfriend for the first time can be very nerve-wracking.

  虽然说我们爱自己的妈妈,小狗和哈罗米芝士,但是恋上别人就得另当别论了,第一次对你的男友或女友说“我爱你”总是令人忐忑不安。

  What if they don’t feel the same way? What if you scare them off? What if they reply with “thank you”?

  如果他们的感觉与你不一样怎么办? 如果你吓倒他们怎么办? 如果他们回复“谢谢”怎么办?

  It’s a cringe-worthy prospect and can leave you feeling vulnerable.

  这是一个令人沮丧的结局,可能会让你感到很脆弱。

  So how do you know when is the right time to say those three little words?

  因此,如何才能得知何时是说出这三个字的最佳时期呢?

  One woman recently posed the dilemma in a Mumsnet forum: “I think my new boyfriend wants to say it but doesn’t want me to not say it back, so he seems to be saying it in a jokey way or a roundabout way recently,” she wrote.

  最近一位女士在妈妈网(Mumsnet)论坛上说出了自己两难的境地:“我觉得我新交的男友想要和我表白,但又怕我拒绝回应,所以他最近似乎以一个笑话或迂回的方式说出了那三个字,”她写道。

  She said they’d been “official” for two months but have been dating for four to five, and asked other women to share their experiences.

  她说他们已经“正式”交往了两个月,但仅仅约会了四到五次,她希望其他女性可以分享她们的经验。

  From the first date to a year, stories varied wildly.

  从第一次约会到交往一年,故事的发生总是那么戏剧化。

  And although many people say you can’t possibly fall in love with someone straight away, some women who did so revealed their relationships have lasted years.

  虽然很多人说你不可能马上爱上别人,但一些早已这样做的女性透露说他们的关系维持了很多年。

  One told her boyfriend she loved him after “about a week or two” of dating. And, she added, they’ve now been together for 11 years.

  一位女性在与男友约会“一至两周”之后,她向男友表白了。她补充说,他们已经在一起11年了。

  Another woman uttered the L-word three weeks in, they’ve now been together for five and a half years and are getting married this autumn.

  另外一位女性在认识三周后说出了“我爱你”三个字,现在他们已经在一起五年半了,并打算于今年秋季结婚。

  She wisely added: “There’s no magic date because each couple is unique and special and will do it at different times. Enjoy the moment when it happens.”

  她理性地说道:“其实并没有什么神奇的约会,因为每对情侣都是独一无二的,他们会在不同的时间表白。那一刻,尽情享受吧。”

  And this is what most psychologists advise too.

  这也是大多数心理学家建议做的。

  According to Dr Aaron Ben-Zeév, there’s no precise formula for when to say “I love you,” “you should say it whenever you feel that way, without making too many calculations about timing.”

  据亚伦.本.泽埃博士介绍,并没有什么何时说“我爱你”的确切公式,“当你觉得你爱对方时,你就应该大胆说出来,而不是想着何时去表白。”

  As life goes on, you may even cease to think about it as a big deal at all - one woman who’s been with her now husband for 20 years said she couldn’t even remember when they dropped the L-bomb.

  时光飞逝,你甚至可能不再认为它是一件很大的事情?一位与现任丈夫生活了20年的女性说,她甚至不记得他们什么时候爱上彼此的。

  So don’t stress, just say it when you feel you want to.

  因此,不要紧张,当你想要表白的时候,那就大胆说出来吧!


 

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